Transpersonal sexuality, Commitment, and Practice Partnership

Someone asked this question online, on a sacred sexuality forum: "How can we be sure that our pursuit of sexuality free from emotional bonds is a real spiritual search and not an avoidance of deep commitment and attachment to a person?"

I believe that any serious cultivation of transpersonal sexuality not only involves emotional bonds, but in fact assumes and requires them as an integral aspect of practice. Lovemaking forms energetic bonds. Energetic bonds between humans include emotion--energy moves as emotion within us. In Taoist Inner Alchemy (Neidan), for example, the "external meridians" formed between people by love are strengthened and developed through conscious practice, until they become deeply suffused with the great cosmic forces.

A stable, committed "practice partnership" is the ideal relationship for this. It is a full love relationship, a *personal* relationship, in which the personal forms a critical basis and platform for the emergence of transpersonal states—and ultimately "traits"—in practice. No series of passing encounters in workshops etc can substitute for this (although they can be helpful and enlightening--or simply pleasurable--in other ways).

Seen energetically, the "pursuit of sexuality free of emotional bonds" is a contradiction. There are always some bonds, even of they are ignored or immediately cut. "Sexuality free of broader life commitments" perhaps. Practice partnership and life partnership are distinct, though both are true love relationships.

I preserve the term “practice partnership” for a love relationship built around the project of serving each other open in loving application of spiritual-sexual “technologies” such as are found within Tantra and Neidan. The partners maintain an open energetic connection, even if they only meet periodically, helping each other to grow. Life partnership can include practice partnership, but usually involves social world commitments such as integration of social or familial networks, cohabitation, marriage, possibly kids, etc.

I wouldn’t call passing encounters in a workshop “practice partnership.” It’s momentary cooperation, working with each other in a practice environment, with the expectation of cutting any energetic/emotional ties at the end. Working with David Deida, for example, involved a brief ceremony cutting energetic ties at the end of each day. So no ongoing partnership there, practice or otherwise. It's really critical to form all these different relationships based on conscious communication. *Commitment* is very important to be spelled out and agreed to. Commitment to what, exactly? Spell it out. Honesty with oneself and one’s partner can save much confusion and heartache. 🙏🏼🌖 Yanshuf Art by Simon Haiduk Art www.simonhaiduk.com